Friday, October 28, 2011

I'm surprised professional hot mess Lindsay took so long to strip off for Playboy

We’ve all seen a lot of Lindsay Lohan over the past few months, with the ‘actress’ being in and out of court regarding various probation violations (if Lindsay decided to have another stab at a pop career, this could be one of her singles?) over the last few months.

But we’re about to see a lot more of 25-year-old Lindsay, with the star (using the term very lightly) agreeing to strip nude for Playboy. According to LOHAN, Lindsay turned down $750,000 and said she’d only take her clothes off for one million dollars.

Playboy are said to have agreed to the monster fee, although Lindsay’s rep is refusing to comment on the deal (let’s face it, that means it’s true - she’d deny it otherwise).

Although we think it’s a good move for Lindsay – in the absence of any movie offers, she needs to take anything she can get if she wants to stay in the limelight – we’re surprised that Playboy have agreed to pay her so much money. 

Lindsay has already got her boobs out on a variety of occasions. Sure, she’s never posed topless in a shoot, but she’s certainly had a number of bikini accidents and unfortunate run ins with flash bulbs while going braless in t-shirts. Combine that with her fondness for displaying a large amount of sideboob in baggy tops and we can all conjure up a pretty good image of Lindsay’s birthday suit.

 Lindsay Lohan (Pic: Splashnews.com)
New York magazine features Lindsay Lohan posing as Marilyn Monroe
Lindsay Lohan poses topless for New York Magazine
Lindsay Lohan at the 2010 MTV Movie Awards, a fashion gala in 2007 and at a Celebrate Love event in 2006 (Pic: Getty Images)
Lindsay Lohan hints at what she'd have to offer Playboy fans at the 2010 MTV Movie Awards, a fashion gala in 2007 and at a Celebrate Love event in 2006
Lindsay Lohan's photoshoot for a Visa Swap fashion event (Pic: PA)
Lindsay goes braless for a Visa Swap fashion event
Lindsay Lohan performs on stage at the 2004 MTV Movie Awards (Pic: Getty Images)
Lindsay Lohan performs on stage at the 2004 MTV Movie Awards
But fair play to her for landing such a great deal, she certainly needs the money to fuel her Hollywood lifestyle. Lindsay is continuing to live the lavish lifestyle (minus a few jail stints) of a star, despite failing to attract new projects.
She hasn’t played a lead role in a decent film for years, with 2009’s Labor Pains going straight to DVD and rumours surrounding her part as porn star Linda Lovelace in Inferno fizzling out at some point last year. Lindsay is still referred to as ‘Mean Girls actress’ – her most recent success when she was at her very best… in 2004… filmed when Lindsay was just 18.

You’d be mistaken for thinking that Lindsay had been ditched by various movies as a result of her problems with drugs, but that isn’t really the case. Plenty of stars have stints in rehab and get their careers back on track. No, Lindsay suffers from chronic laziness.
For some unknown reason Lindsay just can’t be bothered to do anything properly – to see things through. She can’t be arsed to turn up to appointments and when she does she’s late, she changes her mind, fails to get passionate about anything other than partying and generally makes everyone else feel like they’re not as important as she is. Quite simply, no one wants to work with her – she’s too much trouble.     

Instead, Lindsay is being forced to rely on her ‘business skills’, appearing to time various photoshoots around her court appearances, striking deals when she knows she’ll be in the limelight the most. Take July 2010, for example, when Lindsay served a couple of weeks in jail followed by a stint in rehab. She was in the spotlight more than ever before, so made damn sure that she posed for as many photoshoots as possible before she got locked up in the slammer. Not a bad plan – we certainly lapped it all up.

Even this summer, when under house arrest in Venice Beach, Lindsay invited any old film crew to come in and use her for work. She even recorded this advert for penny auction site Beezid! Beezarre, more like.
Yes, it’s safe to say that Lindsay has done a very good job of doing as little as possible. She dug her nails into fame with the release of Parent Trap at aged 11 and has refused to let go ever since, scratching around for anything that involves lots of money and little work. Playboy is right up her street – we’re surprised it took her this long. Forget the acting and the short lived singing career (she had an album called Speak in 2004, we’d forgotten too) – these days Lindsay Lohan is a professional hot mess. And very good at it she is too.

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